So the other day, my dear friend Erin asked me via Twitter if I had any posts on guys and emoticons. I thought, le duh, of course I do. This is one of my favorite topics to talk about. And then (to my horror) I realized I had not, in fact, covered this important topic just yet. So dear readers, I apologize for my delay. I am sure you’ve all been anxiously awaiting the day when I tell you what I think about guys who use emoticons.
The short version is, I hate when guys use emoticons excessively (and unfortunately, I’ve seen them used excessively a lot). I find it to be inherently unmanly and frankly kind of immature. I too loved the :) faces back when I was in 7th grade and chatting on AOL. (A/S/L ) But I was a 12 year old girl, so it was acceptable then. When a grown man sends me emoticons in every other text, I am seriously turned off. Specifically, here’s why.
A. Is this your idea of flirting? I know you can do better…smiley faces are unoriginal and take absolutely no effort or intelligence. Come on now, take an extra minute to think of something clever to say. Leaving me guessing whether you’re kidding or not is kind of hot and will keep me thinking about you much longer.
B. Is it important for you to clarify that what you are writing is a joke? Well here’s a thought, if you weren’t texting, tweeting or Facebook messaging me, you wouldn’t have to clarify the tone of your written words. CALL ME or tell me in person. Then I won’t need additional cues to understand your meaning. Crazy, I know.
c. Guys who use emoticons always seem to be the same guys who abuse !!!!!! marks and LOLs. For the record, I don’t care for LOL whatsoever (again are we in 7th grade?) and gentlemen, let’s try and be a normal level of excitement. When I see !!!!!! I think of a little girl, wearing pink as writes in her diary about how much she loves JTT. Not exactly the image I want when I am talking to a man I’m interested in.
D. And lastly, if you are an emoticon abuser, chances are pretty high that you may also be an emo status updater and a texter. I haven’t done a formal study on this fact, but in my experience these active texters and social network abusers are the same people who over-use these shortcuts. It is likely that due to the fact that they are so often telling the world their woes and writing rather than talking face to face, they have forgotten that there are actually other ways to get their point across that don’t involve a pictorial representation of a face.
Now, please, before you guys freak out — allow me to clarify. If you throw in a smiley face every once in awhile, that is more than fine. Actually it is kinda cute because if you aren’t doing it every other text, I know you are actually trying to convey an emotion. It is only when it is used in excess that I start to question your masculinity and maturity. So guys, if you are going to insist on texting, might I recommend that you spell out your words, punctuate with normal levels of intensity and keep the faces and symbols to a minimum. It’s an easy way for you to stand out as a man amongst the many other little boys we have texting us. You can thank me later.