Guest Post By Laney
I was watching How I Met Your Mother the other day and there was a scene where Ted, the future husband to the aforementioned mother, pathetically laments to Stella, his ex-fiancee who left him at the altar:
Now, up until this point, Ted’s seemingly been having the time of his life bouncing between bouts of singledom and long-term relationships. Sure, that sounds a bit like me. I just lean heavy on the bouts of singledom. I never really thought much of it.
…Until he says, “I’m tired of waiting.” And you know what? So am I. I want to connect with someone. I miss the feeling of perpetual giddyness. Shit, I miss feelings. I miss being irrationally happy or irrationally sad over insignificant issues, and forcing myself to get a grip.
But it’s tough to admit out loud, and nearly impossible to convey to my dates or potential partners. (Especially without sounding desperate and crazy). I want to be in love—that’s not the same as wanting to be in a relationship. If I just wanted a boyfriend, I’d have shacked up with that guy from the dog park years ago and we’d have rode our mundane lives off into the sunset.
Then, without even realizing it, one of my perpetual bachelor friends recently slapped me with some perspective: “It’s not serious until its serious,” he says.
Let us remember that good, solid relationships happen organically. Of course, they take work and effort, but there’s a natural quality you just can’t fake.
So for those of us working hard and getting out there, but still feeling a bit jaded, let’s take a breather and remember to enjoy the ride. Nit-picking over all the rules and regulations of dating may have us too much up in our own heads, and we might be missing a great connection before they’ve even had a chance to meet us.
He’s out there, and according to Stella, he’s getting here as fast as he can,