I just read an awesome post over on Sex, Lies, Dating and the City about booty calls. The post outlines when you should answer a booty call, when you should end a no strings attached situation, and what type of booty calls to avoid. The key takeaway of the post is that your booty call should be fun. No drama, no stress, no feelings. Just a hoot. And I one hundred percent concur.
The only thing the post was missing was the HOW. How does one go about making a booty call? Well, maybe it is unlady like for me to admit this, but I have both made and answered a booty call or two in my day. There have been times where I was out and about, and I decided, I’d really like to be making out right now… And after scanning the room and deciding no one was make out worthy, I resulted to the phone.
Now, for the most part, if you are attractive, and you are texting someone you know wants to make out with you, the booty call process is fairly seamless. However, over the years, I have learned there are a couple of things that will not result in a hook up. Ladies and gents, these things should be avoided at all costs. If need be, print this out and take it to the bars with you.
10 things not to do when drunk dialing:
1. Send an overtly forward text messages – Sure, you both know why you are calling, but don’t put all your cards on the table in your initial text. I don’t care what anyone tells you, everyone wants a little challenge (especially guys!). So if you are already the one initiating contact, try and be at least a little coy. I once sent a text message that read – “I’m Hot. You are hot. Why are we not hanging out?” I did not receive a response on that one…
2. Write random/creepy or mean texts – Sometimes, an attempt to be coy can be mistaken for something random, creepy or mean. If you think your text is questionable, have a friend proof it and make sure you are a-ok before you hit send.
3. Repeatedly drunk dial the same person two weekends in a row – You have to give time between each subsequent drunk dial. Sometimes a drunk dial is unsuccessful due to logistics (eg. one person falls asleep early or your phone dies). However, calling your booty call friend the very next weekend makes you look a little desperate. No one likes a desperate booty call. I like to give at least a month or two in between initiating booty calls. Now if they initiate, it is an entirely different story.
4. Misspell text messages/or slur your words when you call – Nothing is less sexy than a text that reads like gibberish. If you can’t cohesively put together a sentence, it is like taking out a sign that says – I am wasted, and probably won’t be any fun to be around. I can’t count the amount of booty calls I have turned down because of this. Not hot.
5. Leave a long-winded voicemails – If you are going to leave a voicemail (and I rarely recommend that you do) keep it short. Pretty much anything you say has the potential to hurt your cause – especially if you’ve been drinking. No need to delve into a long story about where you are or why you are calling or how they can reach you. You’ll probably just end up sounding awkward and none of that stuff matters to your booty call anyway.
6. Pretend you accidentally called – Ok I only did this once, but I can tell you, I don’t think this is the way to go. At the time, (I was 21, mind you) I didn’t want it to seem like I was making a booty call, but I did want to see what this guy was up to. So I called him (the original Sven, actually!) and pretended like I had selected the wrong person in my phone book. Genius, I know. We talked for an hour that night and made plans for the next day. And then he never called me. Not effective.
7. Send any message to someone who has a gf/bf – I can’t expand on this one without making myself look like an ass, but let’s just say, these people are not the low hanging fruit. When drunk dialing, make it simple on yourself. Select someone easy and fun with no baggage.
8. Call super late at night – Frankly I think a call after 12 is pushing it, but certainly after 1. At this point most people have already either found their fun for the night, are eating Mexican food, or are asleep. D does this to me all the time. In fact, he called me at midnight last Monday wanting me to come over. Uh, no sir, I have been asleep for hours and I have to get up at 5 AM to work out. Look alive.
9. Call from the bar – In order to be coy and sexy, you have to be able to hear the other person on the line. If you are going to be making a booty call, go outside so that you can make arrangements and so that it doesn’t seem like you are calling them just because you are shmammered at a bar.
10. Say anything that could be misconstrued as insecurity – Sometimes you aren’t sure if your booty call wants to hang out, but this lack of confidence will not help your cause. If you say something like, “call me back if you get a chance” you are essentially saying, I don’t think you’ll call me back. Well, that’s not hot! Go with something like, “talk to you soon.” This is an old trick I learned from calling media, but I think it is applicable for a booty call too.
So those are all the things you should avoid – but what should you do? A simple call, at a respectable hour – say 11:30 – maybe a brief message, “Heyo, it’s Cali. just wanted to see what you are up to! Hope you are having a good one and I’ll talk to ya soon.” and then go about your business. If you hear back from them, great, you get to make out! If not, don’t stress, it’s just a drunk dial. These are just meant to distract us while we are single and until we meet the person we don’t have to call because they are right there with us. :)
Anyone have some other good booty call tips?