Guest Post By Laney
Girls get friend-zoned too. It’s not exactly the same as what happens to guys, but it blows just as much. Liking a guy and having him feel anything but the same way back flat out sucks. Ladies, for the purposes of this blog, let’s consider this definition of the friend-zone: He wants to be anything but your boyfriend.
This is for anyone with a crush that seems to be going nowhere. You may want to make things officially serious with this guy, but he’s got you in the friend-zone if:
1) He has a girlfriend.
This seems like an obvious one, but there are still girls out there hoping for that ‘80s movie-moment where their best guy-friend leaves his lame girlfriend to whisk them off their feet, that, well, only happens in ‘80s teen movies. If he has a girlfriend, you are in the friend zone. He is not going to leave her for you, regardless of what interactions you have with him. He may even try to sleep with you, but all that means is that he’s not even a very good friend.
2) He has a profile on a dating site.
He’s actively dating… anyone but you. The reason he isn’t asking you out is as simple as this: he does not want to.
3) He brags about his conquests in front of you.
You are officially one of the guys. It’s been my experience that you can recover from this one, but for the time being, you’ve been ‘zoned. You may be his best girl-friend, but you are not his girlfriend. Don’t get the two confused; you don’t want to be that girl.
4) You are always the one to plan stuff or initiate outings.
There’s this little known (or I should say, widely known yet rarely accepted) phenomenon that when a guy likes you, he makes an effort to hang out with you. Under most circumstances, if he is interested in you, he will call you. That whole “guys like the chase” thing isn’t really a myth.
5) He booty calls you or initiates a friends-with-benefits situation.
Guys very rarely turn from sex buddies into boyfriends. It’s just not the way they’re wired. Sleeping with him is not always going to make him like you. It’s going to make him like sleeping with you.
I’m all for gray-area relationships, but you have to know that you’re in one and be ok with it. In my decade of dating, I’ve fallen hard for a guy in every one of the above scenarios, and it sucks. If you are emotionally invested, this is when you should turn around and run. Walking away or moving on might hurt, but it’ll hurt a lot more after you’ve slept with him and left your dignity in his nightstand.
He is not the one!,